Monday, January 27, 2014


Beauty is not simply the outer shell; it goes deep within to the very soul.  Social media and most of society has taught us that we must look a certain way, dress a certain way or speak a certain way to be considered beautiful.  Why should we accept the opinion or standard of a few select people to define beauty?

For most of my life I've had a complex about my body.  In the fourth grade I began to develop more than most of the girls my age and it made me feel a bit awkward.  I didn't know how to tell my mother and I didn't know what to say when other girls made comments about my size.  By the sixth grade I was taller than many of the girls and some of the boys.  There was one girl in my class and I thought she was so pretty and well dressed and carried herself so well.  It seemed everyone just adored her.  But one day as we sat together talking about "girly" things she asked to see my fingernails.  When I held out my hands her response was. "Ewww, you bite your nails!  My mom says that you're a tomboy if you do that."  I was horrified and heartbroken.  Her comment caused a lifetime of bad feelings for me.

My daddy was often making comments like; "You're not fat, you're just pleasingly plump," or no guy likes a fat girl.  One night when I was about 14 or 15, I was sitting on the sofa and my daddy told me, "Girl you've got ham hocks big enough to feed a family.  I was crushed.  I didn't realize I was that big.  So I began dieting, an extreme diet of boiled eggs and lemons.  I drank lots of water too.  I lost quite a bit of weight but, the diet took a toll on my body causing me to become anemic and weak.  I fainted before school one morning.  

Once I had lost the weight and was able to keep it off my daddy started telling me how "Guys don't want a bag of bones to hold, they want a girl with some meat on her bones."  He criticized the way I wore my hair, the way I ate, the way I walked and the clothes I wore.  My self esteem was so low I could never think of myself as pretty much less beautiful.

To this day I can't find beauty in myself.  I'm ashamed of my body even more now than ever.  I've been guilty of making negative comments about myself in front of my children and even my grandchildren.  I realize what a mistake this is and I hope I can rectify it before any more damage is done.

Parents let your children find their own beauty and build up their confidence.  It's our job to encourage them to grow and become confident.  Go to www.dove.com and watch their videos and read about their statements and view their mission to encourage women to find their beauty.             LOVE YOURSELF

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